The curious case of wanting nothing and something.

It’s a balmy Wednesday evening I’m sitting outside with the curious case of wanting nothing and something at the same time.  A part of me would like to me amongst a group of friends, talking, having a drink. This is the something. The other part of me feels tired by the idea of being in such a situation. This is the nothing. And the in-between part, is me wondering whether I’ve already given this world the best years of my socializing life. Or maybe my socializing moon is in retrograde. Either…

I want to age like wine.

At some point throughout today I had the thought: I want to age like wine. Slow, steady and full of body.  I want to offer myself to this life as a nice glass of red wine that is sipped slow and steady. Instead of as a tequila shot that burns going down to later be felt straight in the head.  I’ll take the time. Time to acquire all the flavors of myself within my own barrel fully trusting the delight of the awaited first glass.

What is the point anyway?

Not sure there is a point, but maybe that is the point? Why do we do what we do? Like sign up for a Substack account without really understanding how it works. It’s like getting in a rental car and driving off without fully understanding what all the buttons do around the steering wheel. True story. It happened to me. I only realized how dangerous this jump for excitement to hit the road can be once my friend couldn’t figure out how to turn on the fog lights. Or when…